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VINCENZOMJJ.
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Michael Jackson On Ice
Los Angeles, CA - According to anonymous zamboni drivers, Michael Jackson is on ice, in a deep freeze, awaiting burial once the Jackson family have come to grips with the fact that the only breadwinner in the family has left the building.
Said father Joe, "...We're still mulling over the offer to have Michael plastinated and put on display in the Smithsonian. I for one don't like this idea. They don't pay much. I'd prefer Las Vegas. The other problem is that people might find this offensive. To overcome that, I'm working on getting all my sons to agree to plastination and having them reunite as the Jackson Five. Then maybe I won't come off like I'm picking on Michael."
Meanwhile mother Elizabeth has been visiting Michael at the morgue, making sure that he doesn't get freezer burn. "It's a complicated job," said Forest Lawn Physical Plant manager Parsley Scopes. "You gotta put a large straw in the freezer bag and suck the air out. Not an easy thing to do for a woman over 80."
One witness, Branstone Lush, famed gay New York theatre reviewer and lifetime Michael Jackson fan noted, "...You know he was one of the most exacting performers of the 20th Century but his burial has been particularily 'half-assed'. Literally! It's been so long since he died, I think he's only got half an ass left."
However Hollywood gossip columnist and part-time Bhuddist, Bradley Pugh, was a bit more forgiving. "This is the world of celebrity. They are stars. Like stars, they each have a different trajectory. Some of them shoot up through the air and disappear from the heavens. Others come down to earth and take out a house or two and perhaps a few pet goats. One can never tell what will happen. Alas, it is written in the stars. As George Harrison used to say....Ohhhhhhhmmmmmmmm."
http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s4i58221
Michael Jackson not buried, but frozen in a freezer?
Michael Jackson's body is being kept in a freezer at Forest Lawn Hollywood Hills cemetery, according to TMZ. Katherine Jackson has visited Jackson's body multiple times there. It has been over a month and a half since Michael Jackson died and he is still has yet to be buried in the ground. Michael is being kept in a freezer while the Jackson family decides where to bury him. Jermaine Jackson is said to be the only one who wants him buried at Neverland Ranch.
Jermaine is not the only one who wants Michael Jackson buried at Neverland, the fans do as well. We are well aware that a good portion of residents of Santa Barbara County do not want Jackson buried at Neverland. They have very valid points on why it's a bad idea. It appears the residents will get their wish as it seems increasing unlikely that Jackson will be buried there.
In other Michael Jackson news, baby mommas and baby daddies are coming out of the woodwork.
Claire Cruise claims she is the mother of Michael Jackson's 3 children.
A woman named Claire Elisabeth Fields Cruise, also known as Claire Cruise, claims she is the biological mother to all three of Michael Jackson's children. She gave a rather interesting press conference today. Watch the video below and try to follow what she is saying. She happily gave the names of the biological fathers of Jackson's children.
You can read more about Claire Cruise and how she claims Tom Cruises son is related to Michael Jackson here.
Mark Lester claims he fathered Michael Jackson's daughter Paris
According to Mark Lester, he may be the father of Michael Jackson's daughter Paris. Lester was allegedly asked by Jackson to donate sperm. He believes that Paris bears a striking resemblance to his own daughter Harriet. He now wants to take a DNA test to prove he is indeed the biological father.
You can read more about Mark Lester's claims and watch him explain how he fathered Paris on video here.
http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-9259-Ce...ter-Paris-video
SOURCE: http://www.examiner.com/x-9259-Celebrity-H...en-in-a-freezer. -
katry.
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CITAZIONEClaire Cruise claims she is the mother of Michael Jackson's 3 children.
Well, Now I can tell ayone that I'm a 15 year-old girl and I'm the biogical mother to Prince , Paris and Blanket. I Think someone would trust me! -____- It's..ridicolous..
Michael Jackson not buried, but frozen in a freezer? |